You Don’t Have to Be Broken to Heal: Therapy Isn’t a Last Resort

People avoid therapy for a lot of reasons. Those reasons often come out through familiar phrases that sound logical on the surface but really serve as armor against vulnerability. You’ve probably heard (or even said) things like, “I don’t need therapy, I can handle it,” or “Other people have it worse.” Some say, “I’ll go if things get really bad,” or “I don’t want to sit around talking about my feelings.” Then there are the ones rooted in fear and pride: “I don’t want a stranger telling me what to do,” or “I don’t need anyone’s help. I just need to get it together.”

And for many in marginalized communities, it can sound like, “Therapy is for white people,” or “What happens in this house stays in this house.” All of these phrases carry the same message: “I’m scared to face myself,” or “I don’t think I deserve support unless I’m falling apart.” Underneath the avoidance is often fear: fear of judgment, fear of change, fear of realizing that healing requires honesty, not perfection. Sometimes it’s even fear of getting help and realizing things might not change as quickly as you hoped.

This fear based avoidance has pushed many of us further away from the healing we need to live more self-aware and self-actualized lives. Somewhere along the way, people started believing that therapy is only for people who are crazy or broken, that it’s only appropriate when everything has completely fallen apart. And even then, you’re expected to have the time and money to make it happen. The idea that you must hit rock bottom, be on the verge of a breakdown, or feel like your life is spiraling before you reach out for help couldn’t be further from the truth.

In all honesty, therapy should never be a last resort. Therapy is the tool that helps you avoid reaching that breaking point in the first place. One of the biggest myths about therapy is that it’s only for people on the edge; those about to lose themselves or everything else. Many think they need a “valid reason” to go. People convince themselves that they need a life transition, break up, grief, trauma, a diagnosis, or whatever is pressing enough before they can consider it. But therapy isn’t just for damage control; it’s for reflection, growth, and maintenance.

Meeting with a therapist creates space for that growth to happen. It starts with building a relationship, sharing your story, setting goals, and working together toward understanding yourself better. You may focus on emotional regulation, communication, boundaries, or identifying unhealthy patterns that lead to the same thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. But life doesn’t stop because you’re in therapy. Some sessions will be deep, others will address whatever is happening right now. One week you may be exploring your triggers; the next, you’re unpacking something that happened with your friend group. Therapy bridges your past and present to help you shape a better future.

So if therapy isn’t just for a crisis, how do you know when to go? That’s a personal question only you can answer, but there are signs that you might be struggling more than you realize. Maybe you constantly second guess yourself, feel anxious even when things are going well, or feel pressure from every direction. Maybe your relationships, romantic or platonic, feel off balance. None of these are crises, but left unchecked, they can become one. Therapy gives you a space to understand what’s happening beneath the surface of “I’m fine” before it becomes too much.

To put it in perspective: you wouldn’t wait for your life to be on the line before taking insulin for diabetes. You wouldn’t keep driving on bald tires, waiting for one to blow before replacing them. In every other area of life, we accept that maintenance prevents disaster. The same is true for mental health. Therapy is preventative care. It helps you understand yourself, your needs, and your limits before they turn into breaking points. It’s not about fixing you; it’s about helping you learn how to use your strength with more care.

I’ve had several therapists throughout my life, and it never fails, just when I think I’m doing fine, a session reminds me how much I’ve been surviving behind the mask of “I’m fine.” Sitting in a space of honesty and vulnerability has helped me recognize hidden pain, neglected fears, and the parts of myself that still needed care. I’ve found support in challenging my own thoughts, feelings, and patterns. Therapy opened space for the version of me that kept holding it all together while quietly wondering, What about me? Am I not enough?

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Do I really need therapy?” then ask yourself this instead: Has taking a vitamin ever hurt?

Always beyond words, Ricki Briana